Aren't they unsung heroes too?
We know about the struggles of seafarers and also about their frustrations for not being able to be home during an emergency, or during special moments. But, how about those loved ones on land who await for the seafarer to return? How about their struggles and frustrations?
Captain Ricardo E Caballero
Maritime Pilot
The Coronavirus crisis unveiled the faces normally hidden behind the loud noise of normality. The world became aware of the fact that 90 percent of trade is done by sea, and that seafarers are essential to ensure that the supply chain is not severely disrupted.
Before the Pandemic, for many, seafarers were just regular people whose work had very little value. Oblivious of the importance of the shipping industry, people living ashore have long remained ignorant of the role of seafarers in keeping the wheel of trade turning.
Most are under the impression that seafarers are just tough workers with a poor ability for adapting to the social environment of life on land. This misconception is to be blamed on the sea stories depicted in some Hollywood movies or in the profiles found in history texts. But Coronavirus made us all aware of the essentiality of seafarers, and also of other "low profile" workers.
Seafarers are just people like you and me, with lives just like yours and mine, except that their jobs entail long periods away from home. Very long periods away from their loved ones, their children, their wives.
The average time that a sailor spends aboard a ship is 9 months in a single year. In 9 months many things can happen back home without them having much to do about it. Many things, good and bad.
We know about the struggles of seafarers and also about their frustrations for not being able to be home during an emergency, or during special moments. But, how about those loved ones on land who await for the seafarer to return? How about their struggles and frustrations? Those lonely wives that need to be as patient, strong, and understanding as their absent husbands. Wives giving birth to a child while the father is away on a ship. How about those invisible ladies who are left behind months after months without the figure of their husbands?
But as the saying goes, "behind every good man there is a good woman", In the case of seafarers it should read " beside every brave seafarer; there is an even braver woman."
While at sea seafarers deal with storms, odd working shifts, and the psychological load of being away from their families. Being patient and resilient is a quality you either are born with or have to develop (sometimes the hard way) if you want to work on a ship. No doubt the sea is for very special individuals. And anyone who decides to share and commit his/her life to a seafarer is even more special.
Being in charge of that anchored ship called home needs tons of patience, dedication, hard work, and a very strong spirit. Above all, it takes commitment and true love.
We men sometimes tend to underestimate how hard it is to care for a sick child, or to help him/her do the homework, while the house is kept neat and safe. If an emergency arises, she will make quick, wise decisions by herself. Her husband is normally out of reach, unable to help her. Of course, some get a helping hand from close relatives, but that isn't the norm. To raise children, do laundry, cook, be a nurse, and do everything that is regular to a mother, you must be a special person, an angel I would say. All these while the husband Is away. She protects the family like a warrior and cares about it like an Angel. She is an angel and a warrior.
She has to administer the family's resources, in such a meticulous manner to guard the economy, always appreciating the hard work and sacrifice made by their husbands, and/or by herself.
These are just a few elemental reasons indicating that if the life of seafarers is hard, the life of their wives might be even harder. Sadly, they get very little recognition, if any at all. They are unsung heroes, who chose to marry unsung heroes.
Everything has become even tougher for the seafarers' wives during this Pandemic. Covid19, with its confination and quarantine, have increased the stress that comes with the role of housewives. To make things worse, the uncertainty of the return of their husbands stranded at sea, have probably taken the wives to the border of collapsing. But there is something special about these wonderful ladies, they know that collapsing is not a choice. They know that they are the foundation of the family, the strongest of the pair, and as in Air Supply's "making love out of nothing at all", they can take the darkness from the pit of the night
and turn it into a beacon burning endlessly bright… A beacon, as the one sailors used in the past to keep their boats in safe waters, these wives keep their husbands' most valued treasure, their family, also safe.
But it takes someone to experience what seafarers' wives experience to understand. Most of the ships I pilot have an "owner's cabin". Sometimes, the Captain has given me the luxury to relax, while the ship is at anchor, in one of those cabins. I don't think any ship owner has ever slept in that cabin. And of course no shipowner has ever stayed (maybe some had), in that cabin for months, without seeing his family. They don't have to do it anyway. I am sure this idea would make the shipowner's wife do some thinking. We know, as a general rule, that according to the socio economic layers, the ones at the top get all the assistance they need. And some wives at the top may prescind their husbands.
Let's honor those seafarer's wives who are devoted to keep their families well even during these difficult times. Let's honor those women who patiently await their husbands' return. They deserve our admiration, and our deepest respect.
May the blowing of the ships' whistles today (may 8) sooth their anxious souls with everlasting hope. And that this same sound reaches the hearts of all the powers that be, including governments and shipowners, to find a solution and create better conditions for seafarers for families not to be separated for too long. Like us, seafarers' most important reason to sacrifice time that could be spent with their loved ones, is precisely those loved ones. And who better than their wives to give them moral support and mental stability while away? A motivated seafarer is a productive one. Isn't this good for the shipping company?
Seafarers' wives, our thoughts are also with you, and so are our prayers.
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